NOT A Recommendation: MERV is available on Amazon Prime Video, and by all accounts this should be a delightful, lighthearted tale – perfect for this time of year – of an estranged coupe brought back together by their adorable loving pooch Merv, whom they share custody of. The stars are even charming when they want to be, as Zooey Deschanel and Charlie Cox are easy to like.

But this is the rare dog movie that you won’t want to take for a walk.

The script is all over the place, the scenes feel stitched together, and everything in it feels more forced than Hallmark’s Christmas movie quota. There are even extensive scenes at a dog beach vacation spot (which means tons of adorable fur babies!), and the movie is STILL a nap sandwich.

The cast deserves better than this, Merv deserves better than this, and we, the audience, definitely deserve better than this. I went in with low expectations, and was still disappointed. Poor Merv.