Saturday Night Live‘s first cold open of 2026 took the opportunity to re-introduce a few of President Donald Trump’s cabinet members. As Trump (James Austin Johnson) noted, he “got a makeover,” with new cast member Jeremy Culhane playing Vice President JD Vance following Bowen Yang’s exit from the show on December 20.

Ahead of giving his staffers some airtime, Trump kicked things off by sharing a few events that happened during the holiday season. “I hope everyone had a nice holiday and got what they wanted for Christmas. I got what I wanted — my very own someone else’s Nobel Prize,” he said, citing Venezuela opposition leader María Corina Machado’s move to gift her own medal to Trump, who has long said he wants one.

“And in my stocking, I got Maduro, Nicolas Maduro. We did a reverse Santa on him,” he continued. “We came down the chimney with a bag and took him away.”

Jeremy Culhane played JD Vance following Bowen Yang’s SNL departure

After a greeting from Secretary of State Marco Rubio (Marcello Hernández), whose recommendations that he not mention Jeffrey Epstein went ignored by Trump, the president let Vance have the spotlight for a moment.

“Look, it’s JD. Got a makeover, look at that. He’s the new and improved JD,” Johnson noted, in character as Trump. “Look, he’s got the eye shadow. Looking very on fleek today, right?” he added, before Vance took the podium.

“America, here is my message to you. You know, I came here to do two things — kick bubble gum and chew ass, and I’m all out of bubble gum,” Vance said, butchering the famous line from John Carpenter’s alien movie They Live. 

But like the real Trump made headlines for doing during a recent meeting, Trump lost interest in Vance’s speech and wandered off to stare out the window. Soon it was time for “a member of my cabinet who wears many hats, in terms of responsibility and hat, Secretary of Homeland Security Kristi Noem.”

Ashley Padilla took over Kristi Noem, previously played by Tina Fey

Like Tina Fey in the cold open for Amy Poehler’s 2025 episode, Padilla donned large prosthetic lips to parody Homeland Security Secretary Kristi Noem, who Johnson’s Trump deemed the “Secretary of War on America.”

“Before we start, I’d like to give a quick shout-out to my hair-and-makeup team, who absolutely hate me,” Padilla’s Noem began.

“Now, obviously, there’s been clashes on both sides in Minneapolis. And have we been perfect? Yes,” she continued. “And I know a lot of people looking at the situation in Minnesota are wondering the same thing. ‘Can I join ICE?’ Well, let me ask you this. Is your neck wider than your head? Are you currently wearing a Punisher T-shirt? Have you ever punched a hole in the wall because your son took a dance class? If the answer is ‘yes,’ then grab a gun, any gun,  and saddle up, big boy,” Noem said, in a sequel to Fey’s ICE recruiting bit from October 11.

“And just know you can always count on me, ’cause my last name is Noem. As in, ‘do I have this situation under control? Noem, I don’t.”